...he brings out the best and the worst in me, it seems.

I want him to love me. Not necessarily obsessive love, not entirely posessive love (although enough of it that he showed off a bit might be nice) and certainly not exclusive love - I know that I'm not the best for him and I know I'm NOT giving up my boys, not for him, not for anyone.

But I want... I guess the best way to put it is that I want the intensity of feeling I have for him, because of him, and around him to be returned in equal measure. I want him to feel this too. *shrugs*

He says that I'm not overstaying my welcome... it's hard for me to believe that. I have this hangup, you see - if people don't ask me to stay, I assume that I'm not actually wanted, even if I know I am, even if I've been assured 'it's ok' in vague terms... if he doesn't ask me to stay, then if I DO stay I feel guilty and ashamed of myself.

Same applies pretty much anywhere... ask me? I know you want it then, and it's ok, I will do my best.

Which is NOT to say that I'll get it right all the time.

Hrm... Mana and the Cub just walked in, apparently the Cub was stalked...? *blinkblink* Life is very VERY odd. And being me, I went into catty mode... bad Jax. No need.

BAD Jax.

*sighs, eyes the playlist and debates which song to put on next... something suitable... something amusing...*

Karma Slave, perhaps? *snickers* Something will work. Dunno what yet, but something will work. Something. Will. Work. Really. It. Will.

Daris - you're not turning into her... *hugs* ...right now I'm not actually around-online much, just enough to do quick updates sometimes and check email - if it looks like I'm online long-term odds are good I just forgot to log off after checking. *sighs, hugs you*

The universe is odd.

VERY odd.

Cat cat catty... bad Jax. Down.