There's a huge moth and a small fly in the apartment and both of them seem to want to fly repeatedly into my face.

I've a freezie-cup full of soda and I am waiting for it to cool down to something at least closer to room temperature before I drink it. It's caffeinated. This is good.

I'm going to be up a lot today... and tomorrow I'll be over visiting Slash and Megan. Maybe grr too. I have no idea.

I've been talking to BF and Sin. This is also a good thing. Sin's simply a dear, and Fox is quite amusing... plus he's telling me things about delicious prettyboys in England and Sweden. Dammit, I need to get over there!

I want to make something very clear: I have a 'thing' for pretty boys. It's part of my ferret mentality: If it's shiny, sparkly, pretty, or edible... GIMME! I see a pretty face, a well-formed body, a well-written paragraph, some fancy clothing, whatever, and I go into raptures. This has gotten me into trouble more than once, and I don't doubt it will do so again.

*sips cola, makes a face, puts it back down to cool off some more*

I have rather odd tastes, as far as beauty... I'm perfectly capable of saying that person x and person y are equally beautiful, when one of them is physically attractive and one of them is incredibly fun and intelligent. I don't define beauty exclusively as a physical term... however, I do NOT by any stretch of the imagination ignore the physical, either.

So I'm drooling over this 21-ish boy in Sweden I'll never meet and feeling like an idiot. Why? Because I have plenty of beautiful people of my own... right? Well, let's add those people up.

Caleb: Yes. He's here and this is good. *grins*

Nick: Elsewhere. He's got pets of his own, including a very hot one who is far too young for him.

Kadin: Elsewhere, and with even less internet access than Nick.

Daris: Elsewhere, never even met him in person.

Nreshan: Elsewhere, never met him in person and have even less claim to him than I do to Daris, at least according to him.

Hida, Seit: Never met them, they are most emphatically elsewhere.

Dashwood: Never even seen a PICTURE of him, and certainly won't ever meet him.

Rhett: Haven't talked to him in months. Have no idea how he's doing or what's up with him... and I have no idea if I'd really be willing to get intensely involved with him. We're both too strange.

Slash: He's taken... and even if he weren't, although he's pretty he is not someone I'm going to get involved with again in that sense.

I want my kitten back here, I want Nick back here. With three boys, it's a safe bet that I'll be able to sleep again... I'll be surrounded by boyness again. I really, SERIOUSLY miss that. I think it's part of why I'm not sleeping well - have I mentioned that before? I suspect I have. Anyway... yeah. There's a bed here that CAN fit three, more or less. There's a cage. There's a futon and a comfy (if somewhat small) sofa in the living room. There's floor space, if I bother to clean.

*sighs*

...and realistically, even if Kadin and Nick were here... Deb would just toss them out again. And I'm sure she's right. After all, they use SO much more electricity than we're already using, and SO much more water... ok, they DO use more water, but we're on a private line and the water bill is what, under $200 a YEAR? She doesn't need to fuss about that... and they would pay for their own food, and more than likely pay the rent that I haven't been able to provide...

...gah.

I want Nick and Kitten and Caleb and I, perhaps Daris, eventually Hida, perhaps Seit - yes, perhaps, and stop making those eyes at me, bitch... you've not even written up a resume' yet - and certainly other friends dropping by from time to time... maybe even other pets...

I want us all to have a huge rambling house somewhere. I want to start up my Home for Wayward Submissive BoyToys. I want to fall asleep feeling safe and well-cuddled.

Yeah, I know I'm whining again... bear with me. I'm feeling very not-cuddled right now. And no, a simple hug won't help, snuggles from one person won't help.

I need to be surrounded by my boys.

Dammit, now I'm feeling all depressed again.

*tries the soda once more... it is now very cold*

Eh... there's a good thing. Cold caffeinated carbonated sugar water. I'll be thankful for that and stop bitching now.