Thinking About Amber
Previous - this entry written on December 29, 2001 at 10:19 pm - Next
*wry grin*I'm giving my sis the address of this diary. Which is cool, 'cos she's actually a Fairly Normal Human Being, and not corrupted by my parents too much, and 'cos she's hot as FUCK... *another grin, this one a bit sheepish* Tomorrow I'm supposed to go do a huge dinner-thing at the Benson with my folks, my sister, and the extended family. Now normally this is a cause for celebration, even if it does mean putting up with a lot of crap, because I love their brunch. The Benson's, that is. Got to go there with Tash most recently *purrs* and it was just as good as ever... gourmet food, and ALL YOU CAN EAT... wow. However, with the nausia and so forth... yeah. Just a tad bit worried. But I've several vicodin left and I figure I can stay tranked up and pain-free for it, and if I don't eat much, eh, that's how it goes. Arrasto's been to see Lord Of The Rings today, and I am quite interested to hear his take on it. I was offered a trip to see same with my wonderful lesbian, and oooh it's tempting... *grins* ...however, we're back to that whole sick-as-a-dog thing. *shrugs* Ooh, I also have Boots' email address (my sis) and I need to email her while I'm thinking about it! *pads off to do so, sleepily* And in reference to her most recent article... *shudders* ...although I DO sometimes wonder what my children would have been like, what future children might be like... it's not a safe subject of conversation, in case anyone was wondering. I don't like the thought, even though it does pop in for uncomfortable visits occasionlly. I've had abortions. Too many, in point of fact. And they have been, at times, ones I actually in some way wanted to keep. Ones I thought about keeping. But see, I've also given birth. ONCE. The girl lives with her adopted parents now. And I can honestly say that abortion is easier, better, it's RIGHT, for me. I still regret giving up Amber. I don't really regret the abortions. I know I couldn't have supported or raised or loved those children enough. I know that they'll be happier when, next life, they DO have parents to love them. *sighs* Sorry, depressing topic. I'll go write emails now.
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