Much amusement, much humor, much sanity and insanity, and damn but I miss my boys right now. *sighs, stretching*

It's nearly 5:00 in the morning...

...JUST got on the computer...

...and you know, I have the oddest thoughts going 'round in my head right now. Listening to music - looking for a good version of "Paradise City" - drinking grapefruit juice - and oxycodone rushing through my system, erasing pain... and memories... and me.

Amazing what one pill can do.

So here's a question: what do you do when you're broke, desperate... AND somehow have more morals than you thought? *sighs* Stress levels through the roof, in a way, for various reasons, and I keep wondering when the phone will ring. Card after card, phone calls to nowhere and dead-end streets, I can see my life, each word spoken shaving off a minute of existance, each phrase typed erasing just that much more of me, of who I am and what I am.

Funny... yeah, the drugs are kicking in. My mind is starting to spin, trembling, hands clenching, eyes wide, and oh the dreamrush as pleasure knocks me breathless...

...so strange.

So very strange.

Perhaps I'll write more, later.