I've been reading boy-ashamed, and I hit this entry... I've never had anyone say that about me. Not to my face, and not in a diary I read, anyway. I've only gotten it second-hand... it hurts then, too. But that's not what I intend to rant about... I guess the only reason I mention it is because I hope maybe he sees this, and maybe he realizes that one person's opinion sure as hell isn't everyone's... that he has more than just potential. That he's not filth. That he's one of the few diaries I haven't stopped reading since I first found diaryland. *shrug*

Odd... I'd started out depressed. Now I think I'm actually angry. Mood swings... oh what fun.

Tomorrow night I meet ????? for the first time, dinner is planned, Chinese food. It'll be entertaining. I only hope for his sake that I'm in a better mood, or he'll find himself in more misery than I'd actually planned. *sigh* No, I know myself... I won't push him. I never push them too far until after I've set my hooks.

*soft sigh*

I'm going to go eat dinner. Food and vicodin... maybe then I'll feel human again. I don't really want to eat, though. I want to watch someone suffer for me. I want to be able to taste pain. If I can't get rid of this mood SOON, I'm going to hit the point where I'd be happy even if it was my pain... and I really don't want that right now. Food is good.

Damn it, I would give my eye teeth to have... bah. Never mind that. No wishes. No dreaming.

Dinner.

I can do dinner.