Even Monty Python isn't making me smile lately...
Previous - this entry written on January 04, 2007 at 4:05 am - Next
...wow, that was unpleasant. Apparently I'm starting my year off with a nervous breakdown or something. *throws her hands up in the air, exasperated* I'm fine now, really I am, it's just this time of year. But hey, a good cry, and I'm... ehh, better, at least.
I'm still feeling exhausted; until we can get financial stuff sorted out, get me back seeing a doctor, get the rest of the dental work done, etc, I'm going to be nervous about day-to-day stuff here. I'm going to be worried about the people I care about. I'm going to be trying to unwind now that the holidays are over, but it's not looking good yet. *sigh* When your choices are 'drug yourself senseless', 'get stinking drunk', or 'stay sober and end up freaking out until you jitter and nervouseness yourself right into a seizure again' the world starts looking pretty frustratingly unpleasant some evenings. Some mornings. Whatever.
What do I want? Puppy here. That would actually solve a LOT of the problems that have been worrying me, it would distract and focus my attention on him, rather than on things I'm trying to move past, it would mean I wouldn't need Caleb to be alert 24/7 so HE could get some rest so he'd feel better too, it would ensure that Puppy wasn't being beat back into his cage by his family for another year... geh. I'd feel safe. He'd be safe. And the house would seem less empty at night.
I had kinda intended to just sleep off this particular roundabout with the fuzzies... but it's looking like that won't happen. Maybe I'll go find an all-night diner somewhere, bring a sketchbook, just... pretend I don't exist for a while, be somebody else, a normal somebody. It'd be a nice change, right? *wry grin*
Yeah, yeah, enough of the drama. Seriously, last night I went a bit wonky, all uber-emotional, and I'm still not quite over it yet but I'm trying hard. It may be a few days yet before I'm recovered from the holidays though, it seems.
...oh, hey, yeah, and the vicodin withdrawals are in full force. Almost forgot about those. *mutters* Stupid fucking dentists.
Previous - Next
Hosted by Diaryland - All Rights Reserved - Image, Layout, and Content copyright Jax Raven -
- Do Not Feed The Moose -