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What Once Was
Sometimes looking backward can be just as useful as looking up...


August 31, 2002
...and she said: Oooh... Black And White And Grey Nifties...

August 29, 2002
...and she said: Erratta... tat tat?

August 28, 2002
...and she said: Break Me, Shake Me... You Know The Rest

August 28, 2002
...and she said: Not The Day I'd Expected To Have

August 27, 2002
...and she said: Unending Puzzlement, Unending Wonder, Unending Loss

August 27, 2002
...and she said: We Interrupt For This Brief Program...

August 27, 2002
...and she said: Calming, Slowly... Grr Argh?

August 26, 2002
...and she said: Furious

August 26, 2002
...and she said: Pure, Blinding Rage

August 26, 2002
...and she said: drink me dry

August 24, 2002
...and she said: Unexpected Darkness

August 24, 2002
...and she said: Not Another One

August 24, 2002
...and she said: Listening To "Beat Me"

August 24, 2002
...and she said: More Of Music, Less Of Reality

August 23, 2002
...and she said: Sail The Ship Of Fools

August 23, 2002
...and she said: Breathing

August 23, 2002
...and she said: Sale

August 22, 2002
...and she said: (no description, move along)

August 22, 2002
...and she said: Out Of The Frying Pan... (another party begins)

August 22, 2002
...and she said: All Night Diner And Bar

August 22, 2002
...and she said: Here

August 20, 2002
...and she said: Over-Medicating And In Awe

August 19, 2002
...and she said: I Hate My Mother

August 19, 2002
...and she said: I Hate My Mother

August 18, 2002
...and she said: Just Me, Updating

August 18, 2002
...and she said: Good

August 17, 2002
...and she said: Leaving The Light On

August 17, 2002
...and she said: ...A Day In The Life Of Someone Else...

August 17, 2002
...and she said: Impatience

August 17, 2002
...and she said: One more party and then I call it quits...

August 15, 2002
...and she said: Fuck Me Senseless Now - Jax Still Needs To Get Laid

August 15, 2002
...and she said: Comics And Whining - I Wanna Go Clubbing

August 15, 2002
...and she said: Almost Amused Jax

August 14, 2002
...and she said: Evolution

August 13, 2002
...and she said: Through The Gate

August 13, 2002
...and she said: Furious

August 13, 2002
...and she said: "Resident Evil" Has Officially Creeped Me Out

August 12, 2002
...and she said: Still Alive, But I Don't Want To Be

August 11, 2002
...and she said: *throwing up just after she finishes this entry

August 10, 2002
...and she said: The Promise

August 10, 2002
...and she said: ...Why Bother?

August 09, 2002
...and she said: Is It Nerves Or The Flu?

August 09, 2002
...and she said: Trust, Orgasms, OryCon Plans, California Dreaming... And Me In The Middle

August 09, 2002
...and she said: I WANT MY BOYS!

August 09, 2002
...and she said: Progress Quest

August 09, 2002
...and she said: Vote For Ferrets!

August 08, 2002
...and she said: I Think I'm Thirsty - Nothing Of Any Use Here, Move Along

August 08, 2002
...and she said: I Don't Want To Deal With My Mother

August 08, 2002
...and she said: Nothing

August 08, 2002
...and she said: Trust Me, You're Better Off Leaving Me Alone Tonight

August 07, 2002
...and she said: Only Important If You're Not Here

August 07, 2002
...and she said: Sometimes Riding The Tiger Is OK

August 07, 2002
...and she said: Alcohol To Numb My Soul

August 06, 2002
...and she said: It's Not A Party If I'm Not Invited

August 06, 2002
...and she said: Don't Pretend You Don't Know This Feeling

August 05, 2002
...and she said: Note To Self And Others

August 04, 2002
...and she said: I Wish I Had More To Say

August 04, 2002
...and she said: When The Moment Arrives

August 04, 2002
...and she said: Pasta, Alcohol, What More Could A Domme Want?

August 03, 2002
...and she said: One Of The Days I Didn't Think Existed

August 03, 2002
...and she said: Throwing Up AND Hungry, This Is Not Fair

August 02, 2002
...and she said: Things. Not Quite Awake. Writing, But Not On This Computer

August 02, 2002
...and she said: Sorry, Just Passing Through

August 02, 2002
...and she said: An Introduction, Missing My Boys, And A New Journal Addiction

August 01, 2002
...and she said: Just An Update - Afraid Of Tomorrow

August 01, 2002
...and she said: I'm Not Quite Awake Yet



------ 2001 -

March, and All Things Therein
April, Illness and Hopes
May, Sick to My Soul
June, Preparation and Reparation
July, Freedom and Lack Thereof
August, and The Loss Of Me
September, Low Blood Sugar and High Self Esteem
October, Struggling With Submission
November, Holidays and Kidney Stones
December, A Transition of Sorts


------ 2002 -

January, California Dreaming
February, Boys and Girls and Me
March, Jax On The Titanic
April, Things CAN Get Worse
May, Dyverwho?
June, In Which OHP Seems To Win
July, The Month Of The Tygrrr
August, Fragmentation And Fear
September, A Recovering Girl
October, Flaws Become Obvious
November, When Things Fall Apart
December, Discovering A Norse Tiger
(or When Holidays Attack)



------ 2003 -

January, Moving And Madness
February, Beaverton Blues
March, (Y'know, this one just doesn't stand out in any useful title-ish way, so I'm just going to blather here for a ridiculous amount of space because I can. Hey, that would make a great title!) Because I Can
April, Someone Is Playing Whack-A-Mole With My Brain
May, Already Too Much Heat
June, Rediscovering An Old Friend
July, Summer Storms
August, In Which I Am Pathetic
September, Preparing For Holiday Season
October, No Pie For Jax
November, And All Things Offline
December, The Big Snow


------ 2004 -

January, As We Turn Over A New Leaf
February, The Dance Of... What, Again?
March, Oppression In The Oddest Places
April, In Which We Are Very Forgetful
May, Last Straws And Long Meaningful Glances
June, California Ho!


------ Here There Be Dragons -

From here, I got lazy; the time in California blurred into one long, strange dream and I only awoke recently. I'm going to condense it into years, or segments, or something; months are no longer clearly defined.

California And The Heat



Wanna get those odd rambling emails that pass for communication with me at times? Wanna know when I do a major update? Wanna be a member of, as a friend so nicely put it, the Jax Fan Club or whatever the hell it is? Then join the bloody list, dammit!

Gimme a working email address:

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